An age old saying, but is there any weight to it? From experience …. Yes and let me tell you why.
When it comes to choosing your wedding dress, you won’t be alone in imagining all of your girls together, giggles, fun, maybe a brunch or a lunch before or after and a whole heap of champagne!
Maybe what you don’t imagine is trying to find a day where everyone is free, endless back and forth messages in the group chat to work out when, maybe one friend drinking a little too much, perhaps another trying really hard throughout your appointment to support and encourage, but maybe more towards what she imagines for you and less of what you actually would like?
These are real problems and things that perhaps you don’t see until it happens.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am the most sociable person I know, I want to make everything an occasion, a celebration, a life moment but there certainly is a time for it and times where actually the fun is taken away from whatever the occasion may be with over complication.
At the moment, where boutiques are only allowed to re open with you and one other guest from your household or support bubble, it has never been such a big thought for people. Who do you bring? Will people feel left out? Will it make it less special?
In short – no …. What I’ve actually seen and what brides have experienced is truly cherished moments.
True decision making based on what you really love and how you really feel in a dress with less opinions is actually amazing.
I say it all the time, but the biggest thing when you choose your wedding dress is that you feel amazing, feel comfortable, feel like you can imagine your day in that dress. And this is so much easier to acknowledge and allow to happen when you are focused on your feelings.
I know that if this was what happened on the TV programmes we are all so addicted to and binge watch as soon as we become engaged, that we now wouldn’t have series after series of the show! If people turned up without the huge “entourage”, without the grumpy mother in law or jealous sister would you watch? I know I wouldn’t!
We love watching all of the controversy, hand over mouth moments BUT as with any popular tv series – it’s not real life and actually, finding your wedding dress is wonderful, happy and really (if you visit the right places) quite easy!
This surprises Brides daily because we expect it not to be easy, we expect to bring everyone with us, we expect it to be a challenge and, thankfully, it’s just not! It is special and amazing and a moment to cherish and it’s just the beginning on your dress journey!! This really is where the fun starts!
You will be skipping back into the boutique when your dress arrives and again for your fitting process, at least three more times before your wedding, so if you do find it a struggle to pick that one star guest, there are more opportunities to show those special people in your life your dress before the big day if you want to. A final fitting once your dress is yours and fits you beautifully for example.
Plus you can absolutely celebrate saying yes to the dress! Organise that brunch, have the girls round – you have no appointment time limits that you’d have in the boutique, you can drink your drink of choice, make a whole day of it that way!
I once had a bride who asked her bridesmaids to draw what kind of dress they thought she would wear. They all drew it and gave them to her before the day she came to choose her dress. She put them in a sealed envelope until breakfast the morning after the wedding! I loved that!
My final point is …. I chose not to show anyone except my Mum, my dress in the lead up to my wedding day and it was the best decision I made!
I didn’t think it was on the morning of the wedding, when my poor mum couldn’t do all the buttons on my dress and had to carry the mountains of train and lace at the back of my dress, but that moment when I walked into the room my bridesmaids were in and they all saw me in my dress, make up done, hair done, flowers – the full look – was priceless. The emotion was wonderful, the feeling and it just grew all our excitement to get to the ceremony.
I was also really lucky to have a fabulous photographer who caught the moment perfectly and these are some of my favourite pictures from the whole day.
The mornings where I am lucky enough to go and dress brides are the same too. The mornings where the bridesmaids have seen the dress before are magical, but there’s not that surprise element or anticipation to see it.
Don’t get me wrong, there is magic in the way it all comes together and so there is certainly still that moment where everyone takes in the bride before she leaves and how she looks, but those mornings where you have a ‘reveal’ are special.
Exciting, emotional, magical and memories that last forever. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw you in your dress” is a common conversation when reminiscing about your big day.
It’s lovely to bring people with you and for them to experience choosing your dress with you, but there are absolute positives to them not coming at this point in the journey as well so choose your plus one wisely.
Choose the person who will support you, the person who you want to bring on this part of the journey but it by no means means that anyone else is missing out or that your experience won’t still be incredible. Remember, this is just the beginning.